i think my tv is drunk
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
