I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
