She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
