What did we do last night that was yellow?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
