help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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