it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize