i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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