normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's not a walk of shame if you run
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
