Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
