Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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