Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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