omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
two words...techno handjob
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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