everyone is single if you try hard enough
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
