why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
