What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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