i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
