i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
