all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
