Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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