they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
