yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
