I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
