Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
