probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
