I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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