as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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