Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
