Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
