My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
