If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My feet surprised me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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