its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
