You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I understand Curling. That high.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
