she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish I only lived at night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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