So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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