How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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