Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

(1-214): View more from Texas

we're not divorced.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

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(208): View more from Idaho

just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking

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(613): View more from Ontario

I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner

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(540): View more from Virginia

You were crying hysterically

(540): View more from Virginia

So that's why my heels were in the oven...

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