hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize