you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
