That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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