mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
porn star boner night. come get it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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