Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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