your thong is hanging out like whoa
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
