you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
