Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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