Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize