he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The air was thick with penises
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
