well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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