I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
