drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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