I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
