the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
PANTIES FOUND
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