It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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