Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
