You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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