The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize