plz talk dirty to me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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