He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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