and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
