Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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