I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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