If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
