If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize