The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
